


Expecting Goodbyes

by themonstrousregiment



Category: Natsume Yuujinchou | Natsume's Book of Friends
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-15
Updated: 2017-05-15
Packaged: 2018-11-01 03:18:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10913220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/themonstrousregiment/pseuds/themonstrousregiment
Summary: Short fic for Natsume week:Natsume Takashi has said goodbye many times in his life.Sometimes with words, with a quiet whisper of farewell, something heavy and resigned in his tone and in the corner of his eyes. Sometimes silently, with a polite bow, an unspoken acknowledgement of another chance lost, taken from his hands before he could even grow to treasure it.





	Expecting Goodbyes

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is a short fic/drabble for Natsume week, for the first prompt of 'Greetings/goodbyes' - it's the first time I've written fic in literal years, so it's a bit of a mess, but I hope you enjoy it!

Natsume Takashi has said goodbye many times in his life.

Sometimes with words, with a quiet whisper of farewell, something heavy and resigned in his tone and in the corner of his eyes.

Sometimes silently, with a polite bow, an unspoken acknowledgement of another chance lost, taken from his hands before he could even grow to treasure it. 

Goodbyes were a constant, an unwavering truth in a world where everything else was confusing and chaotic, where yokai of all shapes and sizes walked the streets, unseen by all it but him. 

Natsume had been saying goodbye before he could even remember. In his first moments, when his heart was new and unburdened, his hands had curled around another, his body was held carefully against a warm chest, and a familiar heartbeat echoed against his ear, fragile and fading, and all the more precious because of it.

He did not know then that this would be his first goodbye.

His second would come not long after.

Time has stolen most of his memories of those early peaceful years, but he remembers spending many warm afternoons sat with his father, waiting for spring and to see his mother’s flowers dancing gracefully in the spring breeze. He remembers steady hands holding his own, feeling safe and secure and loved. 

And he remembers confusion, and tears, and the heavy stench of incense in the air. 

This was his second goodbye, but it is the first he remembers.

After that, goodbyes come thick and fast.

At first, he does not recognise them as such. He sees each new face, each new house and new school, as a new opportunity, a place where maybe one day he can find home again.

But as the years pass, it becomes more and more obvious that the strange colourful creatures he sees are invisible to everyone else. He sees shadows writhe in the corner of his room, sees masked figures watching through empty windows, sees strange figures hiding in trees and following the footsteps of strangers on the street, and he cannot help but run when their eyes meet his and see him too. 

And he sees the fearful stares of his relatives, sees their confusion and horror at his tales of monsters, and begins to expect goodbyes.

He becomes accustomed to them, to greeting each distant relative with an empty smile and guarded eyes, knowing that in time their kindness will turn to disbelief and to scorn. 

He begins to see that goodbyes are as inevitable as rainfall. Dark clouds will gather and the rain will fall, whether he wills it or not. He can only remember to bring an umbrella, and hope the downpour is not too heavy, and that his heart is not crushed under the weight.

It is only many years later, when he stands alone on a cold dark night and meets a woman with kind eyes and a warm voice, when she offers him a home and a life with her and her husband, when they both welcome them into their household with open arms and open hearts – it is only then that he begins to think that maybe, maybe this time, he won’t have to say goodbye.


End file.
